At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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