what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
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