So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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