I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
