One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
No I am not eating basil off your cock
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
