Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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