I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
