Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
