office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
