Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I think my moral compass just broke
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