also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
