I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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