at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
