There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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