let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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