yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Randomize
