Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
