every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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