So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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