If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
