I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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