Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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