I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I think your dad took our porno
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
