if i can run in heels then i can drive
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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