I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
