If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
