I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
