I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
