shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
