Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
