how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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