just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
