I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
She said her name was "party"
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Randomize
