This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
