her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
worst night to have a conscience
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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