ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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