Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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