I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
