Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
