I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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