Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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