Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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