i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
