Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
