Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
