I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Randomize
