Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
