Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
