conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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