bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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