Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
