Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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