im six kinds of drunk right now
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Randomize
