who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
